Why Women Constantly Test Men

JP | #Intangibl3
Mar 23, 2017
3 min read

*If you have ever been married or in an LTR, or are in one currently, or you are an idiot that thinks marriage inherently makes men weak, then this post is for you*

Marriage is often viewed as a negative thing by men who fear being "beta-fied" by a woman; men who don't seem to be secure in their ability to remain free and strong in their own depth of being. They think that men who go into a marriage will inevitably be beaten down and made to submit by the testing of the woman with which they intend to spend their lives.

Women test men. That's the way it is. It is in the nature of femininity to test the strength and resolve of masculinity. As David Deida said in The Way of the Superior Man:

"Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration.

The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so."

A good amount of your woman's pleasure in your relationship comes from testing you and finding that you can withstand it. She wants to know that her man won't be moved by her emotions, attitudes or challenges. For her to be truly happy, she has to continually test your ability to remain unperturbed.

If you pass her test then she knows that she can fully relax into your love. She can only relax into your love for her when she knows that you are strong and loving not because you are seeking her validation, but because you simply are strong and loving. She needs you to be free and grounded in your truth for her to be free and grounded in hers.

There is a good reason why so many man are saying that the mission is more important than the relationship. When the relationship carries more weight than the man's mission marriages fail, men are made pussies, and women are made bitches. A man must not live for the validation of his wife because there is no way that he can remain steadfast by doing that. If he cannot remain strong, capable and loving despite the storm, then she cannot trust him. If she cannot trust him then she is going to eventually begin to despise him. All the while he is seeking her validation...

Hear this: You will get her validation when you don't need it. As long as you are seeking your woman's validation to feel accomplished you will never feel accomplished. You will know that she is in agreement with your actions when she jumps into your arms and kisses you all over...

*ahem*

Your fullness in your purpose is so powerful that it unleashes true, overwhelming love in both you and your woman, for each other. And the more purposeful, the more free, the more persistent in your own truth you become, the more she will test you.

That is the mark of a loving woman.

And as for all those guys that think marriage inevitably makes men weak, a woman is able to test you and push you in ways that no brother can. That is not to diminish the challenges proffered by other men. Men absolutely benefit from the challenges of other men, in fact masculinity grows by challenge, but the challenges of other men do not cover every area of a masculine man's life. The challenges set forth by your woman go into areas that your brothers challenges cannot.

You become your strongest when you are able to pass all the tests, both from your woman and from your brothers.

Don't be one of those men that whines about the shit-tests of a woman. She is testing you because she fucking loves you - and if you can't withstand her storm then she can't fall into your arms and relax into your freedom and love.

Be open; be strong; be loving.

Withstand the storm.

Allow yourself and your woman to be secure in yourselves and in each other.

-JP