A Father's Influence

Yesterday, at 10:59am, my fourth child, and first daughter, was born. :-)

Her name is Annabella and she is quite adorable.

But that's not the point of this post. This post serves a more important function.

You see, this is a huge change for my family. My wife and I have three sons. I know just how important it is for a father to invest in the lives of his sons. Boys need a proper, masculine influence if they are to grow into strong, capable men. 

I didn't have that type of masculine influence and I can say from experience that the road has been far more difficult because of it. 

But I don't really know anything about raising a girl...

I know that on average, boys are more aggressive, more competitive, more analytical and more likely to fall out of a tree. On average, as far as I know, girls are more agreeable, more empathetic, more intuitive and, well, prettier. 

And that's okay. While those categories are by no means all encompassing, and while there are many more descriptors that could be applied, it is clear that there are differences between boys and girls. 

As such it would be silly to think that a "one size fits all" approach to parenting would work. Of course boys and girls each require different things. 

I can't say what it is that will be required of me in being a father to a baby girl. I'm honestly a bit nervous. I'm a man and I understand what it is to be a boy and to wrestle with all that comes along with that. I am not a woman and being a female is foreign to me.

But as unsure as I am about the future, I know that my daughter will need me to be the example for her as to what a man should be, just as my sons do. All of my children need this because there are a lot of pretenders out there. There is a lot of fake masculinity and people who buy into it. 

The burden is indeed a heavy one, to understand that all of my decisions and actions are and will continue to be viewed through the eyes of the children that I have been blessed with. They are watching me and continually comparing and judging what I do and say with what the world does and says.

I have to be strong enough to stand firm in what I know to be true and in who I am as a man. If I fuck it up then what my children think a man should be will be skewed. My sons will base the men they become on their father and my daughter will pick her future love interests on her father as well. 

And so will your children. You, as their father, set the precedent for so much of their lives and so many fathers neglect this fact. Hell, mothers neglect their own influence as well and it drives me crazy.

Children will do and say what they see their parents do and say. They will act how their parents show them that it is okay to act. Even in rebellion it turns out that children are simply acting like their parents. 

Don't forget just how far reaching your influence is a father. What you do today could stick with your children for the rest of their lives.

Stay strong,

Jon.

---

Read the Prologue and First Three Chapters of my Novel in Progress Mouth Breather

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram

Subscribe on YouTube

Send me an Email

Support my work by Donating