Finding the Flow, Being the River

Photo by Lyndon Li on Unsplash

It's difficult sometimes to find our flow, right? Very difficult, at times. But that flow is important. It's often left by the wayside as we try to plow through obstacle after obstacle. The thing is, we're not indestructible. You will wear down from forcing your way through life.

One of the reasons that finding this flow is so important is that it helps us overcome the obstacles in our path, namely depression and anxiety. As men we often hide these things from each other, thinking they make us weak, but in truth they are a part of life. Some may never experience these things, but most will experience it on some level and many go through extreme bouts of both, as well as other kinds of emotional and mental issues.

Whether it be an ICU nurse dealing with the massive stresses of making life and death decisions, or police officer going to an in-progress violent call, or a mother dealing with crying children and no sleep, stress affects everyone and often, very often, leads to things like depression. For me, finding flow gets me through those times.

Of course, these aren't the only things in life that flow allows one to overcome, or to flow through. It can be applied to anything and in truth it should be applied to everything. It should be the goal to reach the state of being like water.

Like a river, you shouldn't force your way through life, but move with the environment, carving your way into your future with determination and strength of will. The river doesn't stop flowing when it finds a mountain in its way, it flows around, under or through it. The river can flow and it can crash. When necessary, we can force our way through, but that's part of the flow.

Finding your flow is in my opinion a matter of accentuating the positive. Rather than focusing on what you cannot do, focus only on what you can do. Focus on the positive things and fill your life with positivity, that's how you build energy and momentum and find your flow. This means not thinking about "I can't watch porn," instead focus on "I can workout." Instead of "I can't eat sweets," think "I can fast!"

You can't build energy or momentum when you are in a negative state. You have to choose to make that shift in mindset and then it must be followed with a shift in action. Change your mind, change how you act, and you will change your life.

In order for this to work you need to do your homework and learn more about the things that you can do that are good for you. You need to know why fasting is a good thing, for instance, and why exercise is a good thing. Men, you need to understand masculinity and why its important to reclaim your authentic masculine nature.

Learn the things that will help you. Spend time on yourself. You cannot hope to help anyone else, not even your own family, in the right way if you don't have your own shit in order. You cannot properly lead your family or your team, if you cannot properly lead yourself. The way to lead yourself, in my experience, is from a state of forward momentum. You can't lead yourself if you aren't moving, and optimizing your movement means operating in flow.

Until next time,

JP