Lessons on Failure
- JP | #Intangibl3
- Jun 29, 2017
- 3 min read
An Unexpected Opportunity
It is difficult to follow your heart; your gut. It is difficult and painful. Sometimes the fear of doing what we know we must is such that it causes us to leap at opportunities that have nothing to do with our true purpose in life.
Recently a coveted position became available at the company that I work for. The position offered great benefits and a very sizable raise in income. This position became available after I had decided that I wanted to enlist in the Army. Of course I’ve wanted to enlist since I was a child, but now I had truly decided to do so. All of a sudden, though, I had an opportunity that I had never expected, and I leapt at it.
I didn’t decide not to enlist in the Army, and in fact I began to view this position as a means to an end. With the raise in income I would be able to more readily afford to have the tattoos on my neck and left hand removed so that I could enlist. But then came the doubts…
Shortly after I applied for this position I tweeted out that I was up for a promotion and that if I get it then my path to the Army would be a little easier. Why I expected that path to get any easier is beyond me. The doubts invaded the little sanctuary in my mind where I had everything planned out. Questions came such as, “What if this is what I’m supposed to do?” and “If I get this job, should I really give up an income like that to join the Army?”
When Life Says "Fuck You"
As I’m sure you’re aware by this point, I didn’t get the job. And it hurts. And I’m grateful for both of those things. I’m grateful that I didn’t get the job because of just how possible it had become that I would allow myself to be swept away from the more difficult, yet far more rewarding, path. I am glad that I didn’t get the job because, in truth, it would have allowed me to be weak – and I would have accepted that. It’s good that I didn’t get that job because I don’t want to be some troglodyte of the cubicles, fucking wasting away in obscurity unto death. I’m glad that life said to me, “Fuck You!”
I’m also glad that it hurts. Pain, in all of its forms, brings with it strength if one is willing to accept it for what it is. Resisting the pain can cause one to lose out on valuable lessons that can be learned and increases in strength that can be gained. Acceptance of what is, that’s how you live and learn. And I have learned from this. I learned that failures don’t have to bring sadness. While they may bring pain – with enough fortitude pain can be used in more ways than to cause you distress. I learned that it is easier than I had previously thought to lose sight of one’s goals, even if they are heavily invested with thought and emotion.
I didn’t get the fucking job. Boo-hoo. I’ll not be crying a river this day – I’ll be course correcting. I’ll be refocusing on the reality that I was not meant to sit at a desk for the rest of my life. I will be doing exactly what I need to do.
Happy To Fail
As for why it hurts, I think that the reason is that not getting the jobs means I’m not as good in this area as the guy who did get it. Admitting one’s faults is always difficult – especially when no fault was thought to be had. Although I look at the guy who did get it and am extremely thankful that I’m not him, not that I’m judging, of course. He just isn’t anything close to what I want to be. Not in any way.
So he can waste away in there instead of me.
Now that I’ve written this and actually thought out what it means – I’m fucking happy.
The lesson that you should take from this? Remember that seemingly negative things that happen in your life may be, to use a well-known cliché, a blessing in disguise. I truly couldn’t be more happy to have failed.
Until next time,
JP
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